People annoyed with the speed at which we bounce back into shape may be impatient with what systems thinking expert Donella Meadows called elasticity or the ability to recover an aspect quickly.

At the end of our six months together, my life coach announced at our last session that I should “just be resilient.” There was another time when I went to a family member for comfort, and as they walked away from me, and refused to do so, they said, “Get over it.”

No matter what turmoil we are in I think we understand that we can be resilient or quit. We typically choose some level of resiliency which is evident in our living, but what exactly are we choosing to be and do?

Resilience

Resilience can be seen as a characteristic or a process in the system of our lives.

In systems thinking resilient systems are dynamic, and once we look at the processes within them, we can discover leverage points that will impact their performance.

“Being resilient is the ability to bounce or spring back into shape, position, etc. after being pressed or stretched.” — Donella H. Meadows

Before we change the current system, we need to understand how it behaves. This understanding tells us where to focus efforts so that we get the most bang for our buck.

We can study what our current routine is, our default way of reacting to disturbances to the status quo, and our go-to things when life isn’t right.

We need to look at ourselves from a whole-person view, not just the parts. I know this seems like a bunch of crap when you are struggling but try. If we limit our view we are going to miss nuggets of goodness about what makes us up.

Restorative Activities

Restorative activities encompass a broader set of activities than self-care which can make us think of things like nail salons, spas, and massages. They are universal in nature, but individual in application and offer a way to restore a system after a large disturbance or disruption.

“A set of feedback loops that can restore or rebuild feedback loops is resilience” Donella H. Meadows

Restorative activities are referred to as feedback loops in systems thinking. We can see feedback loops where there are consistent behavior patterns.

A feedback loop is formed when changes in a source impact the flow into or out of that same source. The in and out flows become leverage points that can be adjusted to change the size of the source level.

Stress is a source we can look at to demonstrate a feedback loop. If stress increases, there is an increased need to develop coping strategies. If we increase coping strategies stress decreases.

In this case, the source/stress increased so we increased the coping strategies, which decreased the source/stress. This is an example of a balanced feedback loop.

Considering an account balance as a source, we can learn about a reinforcing feedback loop.

If an account balance earns interest the balance will increase. As the new balance earns more interest it will continue to grow, thus creating a reinforcing loop.

We may need to adjust a balancing loop to bring our system back to its desired state. A balancing loop seeks to oppose change and get things back where they were. We can help by making purposeful adjustments and watching to see if that gets us to our desired state.

With a reinforcing loop, it is important to remember that an action in this loop produces more of the same action. This could produce negative impacts and create a vicious cycle or positive and a virtuous cycle.

Taking an objective look at things, versus emotion-driven, can help us identify tasks in an analytical, calm, matter-of-fact manner, which will position us to boost resiliency.

As we develop our resiliency skills, by identifying and manipulating key feedback loops, we will create more complex structures within our life system and perhaps find an effective way to live in chaos.

Marcy Pedersen